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I want to ask you about what A Course in Miracles means by Holy Relationship. In one part of the book it talks about "entering the ark" together, and it almost sounds as though you need one other specific person in order to awaken. Therefore, I think I approach each new person with the expectation that maybe THIS could be the relationship that reflects enlightenment to me, and I to them! Am I taking this too literally? Or do you actually have to have another to help you awaken?

I appreciate your time so much and thank you for your help to me and others. I thank you and I thank God for you. Namaste.

David Hoffmeister: Thanks for your openness and your willingness to look deeply at what is underneath these topics and issues. A Course in Miracles teaches that the split mind contains both the problem (the ego) and the Solution (the Holy Spirit). When they are brought together, only One remains.

The body and the world are always the focus of ego's perspective, for it seeks to make real problems and struggles in the world and to avoid the inner Healing Correction of the Holy Spirit. The ego's distorted world is the product of identity confusion, an outpicturing of the belief that it is possible to make an identity which God did not create. The ego is this identity problem and it was Answered or forgiven by the Holy Spirit the instant it seemed to arise. This one problem could be described as an authority problem or a confusion in who is the author of Reality. The mind that believes in the reality of the time-space cosmos has a control issue, for it believes that it can create itself. This ego mind also thinks it is in competition with God, although this is pushed out of conscious awareness. This unconscious ego thought system is exposed in the A Course in Miracles Workbook lessons, and Lesson 13 contains an excellent example of this unveiling:

"A meaningless world engenders fear because I think I am in competition with God."

This is the beginning of training the mind to forgive, for the focus is brought back to the mind, back to thinking, and taken away from the body and the world. Anorexia, weight issues, body image issues, and interpersonal relationship issues are examples of projection, of seeing the problem where it is not: in the world. The mind cannot tolerate the belief in a war with God, so this belief is pushed out of awareness. The deep-seated control issue such a belief entails is then projected to the body and the world. Weight control, like any attempt to control the script or the body, is an attempt to control the past. The Holy Spirit teaches that the past can only be forgiven or released or seen as false—not fixed or controlled or changed.

The same ego dynamic is underneath interpersonal relationship struggles of power and control, of wanting to fix or change a person or a self-image. Personal relationships may seem to sail happily along for awhile, yet the make-believe self-concept IS the personal perspective and thus is always on shaky ground. Decisions are continuous. The Holy Spirit is a decision. The ego is a decision. Atonement is the decision that ends all decisions, an acceptance of the changelessness of Mind. The ego is the decision to believe that the mind can be separate from God. Once the mind believed that it had separated and built this time-space world, this time-space world of bodies became its substitute identity, because it believed it had thrown away the Kingdom of Heaven. The world was made up as a substitute identity. The sleeping mind is split on the decision of identity. The Holy Spirit says, "This world is not Identity. This world is an illusion." And thus the Holy Spirit reminds the mind constantly, "This world is not your Home. This world is not your Identity. This world is not real." While the mind is split it is hearing another voice (the ego) that's saying: "You've done it. You've separated from God. You'd better make the best of it and find something of the world to identify with. You can never go back for God will punish you."

Thought-form associations seem to become a substitute identity. The ego mind seems to be identified with the body, with family, with environments that seem to surround it (i.e., I'm an American, Japanese, I'm male, I'm female, I'm from a wealthy family, from a poor family, I'm Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, etc.) All of these are thought-form associations. And these seeming other persons and places surrounding the little personal self are all part of this construction. The mind is very shaky about this small identity, this small self, this little me. So the little me is shaky, and it seems like other persons give the little me reality and importance (i.e., you're my son, my daughter, you're my boss, you're a loving father, etc.) and all the different things that these images seem to be telling this little me seem to be really important. Praise thus seems very important (i.e., you are a person and you're a good one!).

Praise and acceptance from others SEEM to stabilize this very shaky thing (i.e., you're a great lover, you're a great provider, you're great with the children, you have a fine intellect, you have such a heart, you help serve so many other people, you're a great team-player, on and on). This aspect of the self-concept says that you are a person and you have all of these positive attributes that really make you a valuable and worthy person, that make you stand out above the crowd. You're not just anyone—you're somebody special. The flip side is criticism, which directly reflects the shaky sense of self. Criticism would be: you're not as great as you think you are, you're not such a good team player, such a good provider, so good in bed—all the things that are taken as insults to the personal self-concept). That's the flip side of the strokes. To this ego self-concept that believes both sides (the positive and negative) of thinking are real, the Holy Spirit is perceived as a great threat, for the Holy Spirit leads to the experience of forgiveness or the realization that none of the tiny images perceived as separate have any reality.

When the criticism seems to come, the ego attempts a substitution. It thinks, "I don't need this. I'll go elsewhere and start other relationships with people who can appreciate my talents and skills and abilities, appreciate my personhood. I will avoid those negative influences in the world and those negative people. I'll find another person or join a group where people are like-minded and forget about the rest of the world. These new people will like me and stroke me and praise me." The attempt at substitution is an attempt to maintain a sense of specialness, a sense of separation, a sense of individuality (a private mind with private thoughts) acim podcasts. Those attempts are special love relationships. They seem to reinforce worth and value and to validate personhood. And they offer a false witness for clinging to the ego as identity. To the ego, past associations serve to give personhood some sense of stability and consistency and value. Yet, the Holy Spirit shows that past associations offer nothing of value, for they were made by the ego to deny the truth of God's Love.

Holy relationship emphasizes and reflects Content (right-minded thinking) and has an awareness of the meaninglessness of form. While the ego's believed relationships will seem to be specific, yet each one will present an opportunity to release the belief in specifics. Divine Mind is Abstract and Universal. Forgiveness is the bridge to the remembrance of Christ and God, Divine Abstraction. Thus the Holy Spirit teaches in A Course in Miracles:

"When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet, they are given another chance at salvation. Do not leave anyone without giving salvation to him and receiving it yourself. For I am always there with you, in remembrance of you.